Welcome to my world!

Catch Up Post!!

2007-03-09T18:15:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year ummmmmm what other holidays and events have I missed oh yeah I turned 31!!! Ewwwwwwwww

I know it has been a LONG time since I have posted and believe me I am not a slogger just been really busy with life. I am now living on my own I have never done this I went from my father's home to my husbands but now it is time for me to spread my wings and learn to be independent! I have bought paint and since I have been without internet or TV I am done three rooms!!! It is amazing what one can get done without this evil internet hahahah I am Cat and I am addicted to the internet! Anyway this whole living on my own it is a scary prospect but I am strong and I will take this on and own it like I do everything in life! I am still working as a Reservations agent I book ppl all over the world for FREE and believe you me they complain just as much then as if they have to pay hahahah I mean come on your going to PARIS or ROME or SCOTLAND for free!!!!

I am now the Secretary for MADD Waterloo it is the local MADD chapter here it is not the same as MADD Grand Manan was for me but I am still a part of a cause I am passionate about...I miss doing what I wanted and knowing the people I helped yes the island was good for some things hehehehe There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my school, my students but most of all the people I called family...You guys know who you are and your always in my thoughts! It is hard to find ppl that you click with like I did there, ppl here either just stop talking to you or get busy and forget you exist I miss you guys I miss my Youth I miss my family!!!! I am a better person for having met you guys and had some amazing experiences that I will take with me no matter how far away I get. I am sitting in my bed with Nica beside me watching Flicka lol it is Mother Daughter night!! Take care ciao

Longing to be home

2006-12-20T17:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight Danica had her Christmas concert and it was really sweet they had an actual choir instead of all the kids from each class singing...her class has 33 students in it and that is mighty full It was sooo hard for me though I wanted to be up upbeat and supportive but for the last six years I have sat at GMCS with all the other parents that I know and watched the cute antics and singings of all the children of Grand Manan...If I didn't know them I knew a sibling or a parent. Tonight I sat in a school I didn't know surrounded by ppl who didn't know my name and watched this sweet show with kids that I didn't recognize and I felt lonely...It is amazing how you can be surrounded by all those ppl and yet feel more lonely. I miss you guys all so much and my holiday wish this year is to be surrounded by those I love...So I can't be there in person but believe me I am there in spirit...I feel like a huge part of me was left behind there. I know that life takes us all in different directions and I know things happen for a reason but it doesn't mean it isn't hard. You are all in my thoughts and I miss you SOOO much. Don't take anything for granted and live like you might not live another day!!

Flying Blue Turtles!

2006-12-14T19:21:00.000-08:00

Well it is 11 days until Christmas, I long to be with all my friends on Grand Manan, my Youth and Leaders...I miss you all sooo much. This is going to be a hard Christmas for all of us but we will get through this.

I am working everyday and even got my first paycheck!!! I like my job it will do for now, I may have to put my schooling on hold as Nica is not doing so well and we are now looking at having to have her assessed for her learning. I won't let her fall behind anymore and need to be there for her. I know that what is meant to be will be...Sometimes that is a hard thing to wait for but we must be patient. Life is not easy right now but we are all getting by day by day you really learn how strong you are in your troubled times...We all have it in us to do what we need to do and then learn to adapt...We may think we can't go on but we will and we will be better for having gone through it. We just have to remember there is always someone we can lean on in those times. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas not a Happy Holiday cause I love to say Merry Christmas!!

Update Update Please!!

2006-12-08T16:13:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone sorry you think I am a slogger I have just been really busy, was working a night job and I had no time to think let alone sit and blog but now I am done that one so no "Thank you for calling Bellexpressvue how may I help you...And now I am saying Thank you for calling Flying Blue my name is Cat, may I have your flying blue card number please! I work for Air France's Frequent Flyer club and I am at present handling general inquires and account info. The next step will be reservation training and then I will be booking rewards tickets and the GI questions. I work 9-5:30 right now but will soon get two split shift every month it will be 8am to 4:30pm or 11:30am to 8pm so that is not to bad and we can change our shifts to all days if someone wants all nights...and I have found someone that says she will work all nights!! In the personal side of things we are all struggling, Nica is having hard times adjusting so we are doing what we can...School is not easy for her so we are working on that with her too. It is really cold here and we have snow and ice and I am longing for a beach somewhere with a nice blue ocean!! Hope everyone is well. Love Ya

Awesome Day!! On The Way!!!

2006-11-14T17:17:00.000-08:00

Well I am now done my six week Employment Options course and am soooo much better for it!! I have learned so much about myself and how to go out and get what I want. I have heard some of the most amazing things said about me and my accomplishments it has been a huge eye opener!!

I am now in the two week job placement and have secured it through a place called The Working Center and through them I will get to experience all different aspects of the Social Services field. Yesterday was a pretty quiet day sat out front and stuffed envelopes as they are in the middle of their big mail fundraiser, but I got to talk to ppl just the same. Today though I went to the Saint John's Kitchen and did outreach...I was really nervous at first but once I got there I shadowed the woman that does this job and then she hands me a pad and says go for it! So I was sent out into the table area and it was just like I was meant to be there...ppl talked to me and I actually could help some ppl...That is such a feeling for me to be able to do something that is meaningful. I get to learn new ways of working in this Social Services field and am enjoying myself at the same time!! I really love all the things I have done so far and get up excited to start another day!! I am hoping that this is what I am meant to do and will apply for the college as soon as I am able!! It is a highly competitive course and a panel interview is done to see if you are a right fit for the course...So you need to stick out!! I love it though I love it!! I know that for some reason I was meant to be here and in time that purpose will be revealed to me!! I am taking it day by day and just trying to live my life to the best of my abilities. I miss you all!! And think of you all often!!

Happy Halloween!!

2006-11-05T15:43:00.000-08:00

Ok Ok so it is late but better late than never!! I dressed up as a leopard cat for Halloween and my friend and I went to a club but OML here Halloween means dress up in your underwear!! I was embarrassed to be out there! I wanted to have a little fun, dance and celebrate a day I love!! I missed the usual going to the bar up there and seeing everyone done up and having a fun time...I really miss my friends darnit!!

On a positive note I have a job interview tomorrow for a tech support job that would run until February some time and as I am looking at going to school this job would be good for me...Although any of you who know me well will get a kick out of the company I will be working for...X-Box hahaha I will keep you posted on how I do and if I get it. Also a positive I finally got my drivers license changed over!! It was nice to see something positive that I have been trying to accomplish finally get done! I am slowly trying to make things happen. I have to bang on resumes now and should be able to get a good job anywhere I apply...But I hate the interview hehehe I hope everyone is doing well I miss you all and hope life is treating you all well.

Here are some pics of Nica I and for Halloween!!

Trust what is it and what is it good for?

2006-10-21T07:07:00.000-07:00

Well sorry I haven't written in a while I have been really busy here...The course has taken up a lot of my time. In this course we are doing all sorts of things that have to do with personalities and who we are and what we would be happiest doing. I have realized going through this that I am no longer the person I was. I used to be fun loving and care free, let anyone in and keep them as friends and now I am soo damn afraid of letting anyone in...Then once again I find out that someone I thought was a friend someone who I confided in and loved so much just discarded that like it meant nothing. How can you learn to trust again when everytime you start to someone comes along and kicks you when your down!??! Is anyone out there honest anymore or is that an archaic value?? Oh My every time I turn around I am being shown how horrible people are and how they just hurt you over and over...Why do you even bother !!!

Stuck in the middle!

2006-10-03T15:02:00.000-07:00

I have started this course to help me explore my career options and go through my skills and decide just what skills I bring to the table and if I need to go back to school for my job of choice or not. No I don't know what that is yet but I am getting ideas. I learned today all about "The Change Process" it was supposed to be for a person who has lost a job for whatever reason but I really identified with it in many ways. It is like a circle and you have "The Event" then Shock/Relief, Denial/Disbelief, Anger, Self Blame, Panic/Bargaining, Depression then "Transition" then on the upside is Acceptance/Adjustment, Hope, Excitement/New beginnings, Growth/New Directions, Solutions. I can place myself in that circle in many different areas in my life...But what I didn't realize was that you don't just go through that circle you can pendulum through it...And get stuck in the middle. I will feel that things are getting better and then start to feel good and then something will happen and bang I am right back to the first stages again. My Wellness Center gave notice that they are closing and when I heard that I was sooo upset...I have such a hard time understanding why the good things seem to be ripped out from underneath me but the crappy things seem to stay constant?? So I constantly find myself "Stuck in the Middle" I do know that there is an out of this cycle but we just need to be patient. Yeah yeah I know easier said than done huh. Life is a hard sell for me right now and everyday is a challenge but "This to shall pass" Things are looking up though, will keep you all posted...all what five readers hahahaha Love all my readers no matter how many or how few!!!

A Must See Movie!!

2006-09-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

I have just come back from what I would say was the best movie I have seen in quite a while...I would say it has Oscar potential for sure! The Illusionist with Edward Norton,Jessica Beal,Rufus Sewell and Paul Giamatti. I wasn't sure if it was going to be all that good but we needed a break from reality and decided to try a movie. I would pay full price to see it again and when it comes out I will buy it!!! This is just a quick post to tell everyone to give that move a shot! Miss everyone like crazy and would love to hear from you all!!!

Elephants Rock!!

2006-09-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

Well on Ellen Degeneres she is always talking about life lists...Things you have always wanted to do, well on Sunday I got to do one of those...It is small so easier to make happen lol I got to ride an ELEPHANT!!! It was really awesome. They are the most beautiful creatures and have the kindest eyes. Mom, Danica and I all went to the African Lion Safari on Sunday this was our third attempt at going cause the first two got called on account of rain haha You drive through in your car and there are lions, giraffes, cheetas, rino's and sooo many more awesome animals just outside your car!! You can spend all day there they have shows with different animals like birds of prey and parrots...But the best by far was the elephants they put on a show at the end of the day and played soccer, walked on a balance beam even painted a shirt lol If you get a chance to go then I highly recommend it!! On a drivers license note...Still not able to drive here...I tell you they must think I am a terrorist trying to sneak one over on the government cause face it ladies and gentleman don't I look like one!! I now have to contact the province of NB to apply for a marriage license just so I can show it to them...Cause the one I had specially mailed here to me was from the church and not good enough in their eyes!! Whatever!! I am still going to my gym and getting my butt whooped but I am making it through the whole program now so I am workin it :oP Here is the pic of us on the elephant and her name is Jenny. Miss ya!

Butterfly Conservatory

2006-09-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

Today we took a drive to a butterfly conservatory just outside of Guelph Ontario and saw some of the most beautiful butterflies. They had a program going where they caught Monarchs and then tagged them and then you could pay money to own that butterfly and then release it into the wild...then they keep track of your butterfly. They usually go to Mexico and then there they try and see how many made it and just how long it takes. I thought it was a really neat idea so Danica and I purchased one. Here is a picture of her butterly and them tagging it and then it being released.

A day to remember not forget

2006-09-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

I got up this morning and it hit me that this time five years ago I was watching this horrific scene on TV of two planes hitting the twin towers and then watching them crumble...I couldn't believe my eyes I thought for sure I had tuned into some Tom Clancy made for TV movie there was no way that what I was seeing could be real no one would be that cruel...And yet it was. That day changed the lives of sooo many people why can one act do so much...And why can't it be something good happening for once that we can rejoice and be proud of not these senseless acts of terrorism that take so many lives and don't accomplish anything. This act brought so many people together but tore that many and more up...Lives lost forever children without parents, parents without children...We need to pray that this never happens again. But more than that we need to become a society that doesn't allow this stuff anymore!! I mean so often you see a news story of a hurricane and so many people will turn it off to watch their favorite TV program we have become a society that just accepts things...Like when we were kids would the little girls be running around with piercings and hair colouring and dressing provocative??? Why is this all becoming acceptable why are we not standing up and saying NO my daughter will not dress like that or NO I will not just stand idly by while there is something I can do to help no matter how big or how small that is!! I challenge everyone to take a stand in something they believe in or do something for someone who can't...Take an example from the movie Pay It Forward. We can show that we will not take this stuff and we can do what we can to make our lives count!!

Traction Please!!

2006-09-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

Ok piece of advice when someone comes to you and says girl I am gonna kick your butt six ways from Sunday in that gym....BELIEVE them!!! I had my first workout at the Wellness Center and I am just about dead....But don't I feel GREAT!!!! It is very similar to what used to be Sister's but after having done both I think they were missing out on the proper use of machines...I went in for my first workout and then after I got to use all the machines and figured I was comfortable the instructor turns to me and says "Hey class in ten minutes if your interested?" I thought sure why not that way I can see what they do well MAN they work you out!! I loved it though well soooo maby not the pain part but I will go back and I will make it work! So now I lay in my bed writing out this new post and wish like heck I had traction cause I HURT!! My back is sore, could be from the train crash though cause if I am not careful and over do anything that involves my back I can hurt myself. Anywhoo must jet...ttyl

Why do ppl have to be so RUDE!

2006-08-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hey all, I went out yesterday to get my drivers license changed over and called ahead first so I wouldn't waste a trip and made sure I had everything with me I would need. So mom and I get there and walk up to this "lady" I use that term loosely and ask where I go to do this...She looks at me and says do you have ID and all the things I had so of course I say yes..I had done my hair and tried to dress a little nicer cause we all know how horrid those pics can turn out...Eh Kirk!! And she gives this mean smile and says well do you have your marriage certificate?? I thought huh what would I need that for? So then she proceeds to enjoy telling me that without it cause they need to link the two together or some such crap I can't get my license!! Then she says well do you have your birth certificate and I say oh well yes I do so I am thinking ok we are in business but then with her little mean way she says well that won't help unless your married name is on it!! Everyone who has changed a name knows your BC doesn't change!! Then she gets this look on her face and says what about a passport? I said well no not a recent one...Would that help? Oh yes but you need your marriage certificate to get it! By that time I am sooo ticked off I walk away from the woman and right out the door. So mom and I say to heck with this and go to East Side Marios and enjoy a nice dinner with her friend Mary and grand daughter Jasmine. Then mom and I came home and tried on our outfits we had bought...And yes they are identical!! ha ha So I thought I would add this pic cause it is funny and I needed a laugh.

It has begun

2006-08-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Well I took my first two major steps ahead today in this plane crash I call life...I took my resume out to some places around here, but didn't I feel like an idiot I mean here I am thirty and walking into BlockBuster!!! I just need to get a filler job though so that I can get out of the house and back into the land of living. Then the job options program will start in October. Mom and I walked by this women's Wellness Center and I decided to go in and look around...they are a place that works one on one with you and not just in the gym on the excersise part of things but they do nutrition as well!! So today I will go and have a consultation. I didn't realise how much I had let what was going on in my life affect how I treated myself until I looked in the mirror and really saw myself. No more will I let this effect me I have wanted to work on this for a while but now I am actually doing it!! I am also cutting out all carbs, sugar and fat from my diet for a week to get things jumping. Hey who knows I may actually be able to buy a bikini for the first time ever!!! lol

I was asked earlier for pictures of the insdide of my house but the only one I have is my room wich I have named my Sanctuary cause it is the only place I can run to and hide or relax or just get out of the crazyness around here! Hope everyone is enjoying the last week before school starts...Hmmmmm is that The Most Wonderful Time of the Year song I hear playing in my head!!!! Miss all and write later!

Who's path are we on??

2006-08-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't blogged in a while sorry, life has been throwing some curve balls at me and I am dodging left right and center. It is so weird in life there are many paths that you can take but how do you know which one is the right one...I mean is there a right path and wrong path or a right now path everything we do and say affects all aspects of our life. I find myself facing one of those paths and I know what I want to do but just not how to go about doing it. It isn't always easy or fun to do what needs to be done but that means when we accomplish it, it will mean so much more. I have decided to go out and get a fast job so that I can re-enter the world cause I need to get out there and meet ppl. Then once Nica starts school I can look into just what I am going to do about a career. I wish it were as easy as it sound though lol

I have been down with a three day migraine and am now just starting to feel well so hopefully the words will come faster and I can keep ya all excited about my life!! I did get out last night to the movie theater and saw Step Up...Very nice I am a HUGE fan of dance movies and hey doesn't hurt that Tatum Channing is a hottie. If you like that kind of movie then I would definitely recommend getting out and seeing it!!!

Talent is in the eye of the beholder

2006-08-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

I got here and received my copy of the second Poetry book I am in...A Golden Morning. I entered my first contest three years ago as a way to face a fear I have always had...I used to write all the time but never wanted ppl to see what I had written...Always wanted to enter a contest but didn't know if it was good enough...I was going through old boxes of my stuff and found my original poetry folder and thought hmmm I need to get back into writing...Then the next day I go to work at The Grand Manan Public Library and there is a poetry contest entry form sitting on the front desk...I mean come on the signs are all there just face the fear and do it...So I did. It is a real thrill to see your name in print and know that someone thinks something you did is worth keeping...Now the ones I have published up to date are all ones I wrote as an angst filled teenager so yes they are mine and I had talent but my question was do I still...I have had writers block for ever and just couldn't seem to get the words out on paper and when I say forever I mean like ten years...But after a conversation with an old friend...And subject of said poems ;o) I felt the old familiar need to write...So I did and when the latest contest opened up I said well I have nothing to loose so I entered in my latest poem...I got news that not only are they publishing it I am in the running for the top Money Prize...I have never had that honor before...So I guess the do I still have talent question can be answered as a heck ya someone thinks so!!! So don't give up on what your doing cause you never know when someone is going to recognize it and say hey good job!

Suck it up Princess!

2006-08-19T06:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry I didn't write anything yesterday...it was not such a good day for me. I am here to get my life back in order so to speak...but everyday I am faced with something new...I am not some fresh out of high school ready to face the world and take it on graduate. I am a thirty year old woman who has had her whole life turned upside down and is now trying to pick up the pieces and put them in some kind of order. Yesterday was supposed to be a day to celebrate the coming together of two ppl...to love, cherish and honor no matter what...but instead it was a day I sat and tried to come to terms with all I have lost but not only me...I have a little girl who is just as lost as I am...she doesn't know how to deal any better than I do. So we are just there for each other...but even though I am surrounded by so many ppl I have never felt more alone. I wish there was one of those Staples easy buttons that you could push and everything would be fixed or some person you could go to that would say oh k here is what you are going to do and this is how it will turn out...unfortunately life is not scripted and we must make our own way...but it is so hard to know what is the right decision...what if I made a horrible mistake when I packed up and moved away...but then again what if it was the smartest thing I could have done...I don't know what my next move is supposed to be...if I could I would hightail it back to GM and just just be with my new found family...but I know I need to take a stand and find the person I used to be but got lost in the shuffle, and I feel that I must do that here...why? I have no idea but I am here now so it is time to "Suck it up Princess" advice given to me by a new found friend it sounds harsh but not only did it make me laugh it also makes you realise that so many others are going through the same stuff you are, and some a lot worse so no matter what life throws at you...suck it up and deal. Thanks Casper! Well I guess the pancakes are ready and I must leave my sanctuary (my room) to face another day...yesterday was hard but I survived...this to shall pass. Love ya

Way more to it than ya think

2006-08-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

Wow html language, url's and so much more...nothing is simple anymore huh...thanks Kirk for the Blogging 101 I will be back for my second class tomorrow...and yes the check is in the mail.

Today I thought it would be fun to slap on some rollerblades which I have only used twice before on the Brownville Road on GM and go rollerblading. The first mistake was that the rollerblades are the cheap Wal-Mart specials and really don't work well...which means no brakes. The second mistake was the person who took me thought I was an experienced blader so he took me to a steep hilled trail. So here I am all ok I can do this piece of cake right...wrong...I get to the aforementioned hill and thought no way on God's green earth am I going down that so being the quick thinker I am I veer to the left...yeah well with no breaks I ended up in a ditch on my keister...not graceful!! So I pick myself up and say ok side stepping the hill it is....I get going and am getting the hang of it meanwhile Nica is flying around on her bike and I am slowly making my way through when I realise I don't feel very good...I guess extreme heat and physical activities don't mix well...so suffice it to say I end up sitting on a bench so I don't pass out while the other two go on ahead. I will stick to walking, tennis and blading maby if on a flat trail.

On a side note I received my transcripts and diploma in the mail today...should have been exciting I ended up with a 97% but where I can't use said certificate it was a bitter sweet moment.

Come visit the Falls

2006-08-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

Our Falls
Nica and I enjoying the Falls
American Falls

Today I am going to go backwards because I just started blogging and lot's of things have happened...Mom, Nica and I decided to take a day trip on Sunday to Niagara Falls...now I grew up in Ottawa and different parts of Ontario and have never actually gone to see this what I now think should be a wonder of the world...we get there and you can hear the rushing of the falls as soon as you get out of your car and Nica and I like a couple of giddy school girls are tripping over ourselves to get there...you walk A LOT to get there and then you come up from this hill and there they are....beautiful smaller than you think but sooo pretty...so Nica and I are oohing and aahhing and Mom laughs and says you like that eh...then she says too bad that is not ours...I guess there is an American side and a Canadian side so you keep walking and then it is like BANG your hit with lightning and there they are HUGE and breathtaking you can't even process it at first you just have to sit there and take it all in. So my lesson was.....hmmmmm I guess size does matter!!! We were there for about three hours but there was so much to do we really did nothing...we ate in this restaurant that is right in front of the falls so your whole view is glorious falls...pricey but meh how could you not. I decided to get a feel for all that was there and then go back again and do the rest of the stuff another time...we were all dressed up nicely so the Maid of the Mist would have to wait...but I will go on her and get soaked ha ha ha. Here are a few pics of our day...and they do not do her justice at all. Off for another day of exploring good ol Kitchener Waterloo which from now on will be K/W.

First of hopefully many

2006-08-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

Well I am now officially a blogger...hmmmm well ok then...I thought it would be fun to start up a blog so that anyone who misses me or wants to know what I am up to can come on and check this out. So without further ado...Here it is!!

I am now pretty much settled into my new home here is a pic of it just so you can see where I am living...front and back yard...it is strange to say the least but in order to try and get my feet back under me I think this is the best thing for me. I did get some disapointing news that I am not able to work in the School system here because of high criteria so I am now at a new crossroads in my life where I have to decide what to do...any suggestions? All will be appreciated...could be a fun top 10 "Things Cat can do with her life!" ha ha ha Anyway this is it for today...miss everyone and hope all is well.